Pirated Publicity
by stansdouble
Summary: The life of a pirate seems to be merely a day job for the star actors of the mega hit TV show, One Piece, but what do they get up to off-screen? Especially heart throb, Portgas D. Ace, now that he's been sacked? Pairings may occur off screen :P
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Yeah.. I don't know.. I've always wondered what these pirates**  
**would be like if they were in normal surroundings. Same personalities**  
**just... How should I say? Never mind, I won't say. Hit me up if I'm**  
**doing it wrong! Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: One Piece ain't mine. Duh.**

**And yes. Oda is a character. Yes.**

* * *

Chapter one:

A haze of dirt accompanied with silence, filled the air. Ash passed by the bleeding youth, sticking onto the sweat and blood concoction splashed onto his cheek and lips. His hair in a mess. There were slashes in diagonal patterns across his meagre arms and exhausted body.

In a state any normal being would've collapsed in, this boy was un-phased.

His stance vertically up straight, frightening if you've been there to witness the events that had occurred.

"No one." He growls. Eyes shadowed, fists clenched.

"No one messes," his glare shot to the figure in front of him, "WITH MY NAKAMA!"

The silent air was filled with a new ingredient of the scream, the decibels charging the dirt and ash to be blown towards the half dead enemy. Silence poured into the air, yet this time, the fear of defeat was stirred in.

"AAAA-ND… CUT!"

An unfamiliar voice shouted out. Feet began to shuffle around, preparing for the next scene. A zoned out Luffy let out a much needed sigh.

"How was that!?" He beamed, which seemed weird since the boy looked like he had just been out of the War of the Best.

"Perfect. Perfect like always." replied the unfamiliar voice, this time, much more relaxed.

Flattered and pleased about his nearly hourly compliment, Luffy walked off set to vandalise a nearby snack table.

"Ace, nice to see you're still around." The unfamiliar voice, which turned out to be the director, exclaimed, getting down from his seat. The star who was right next to him, witnessing the epic Luffy battle cry, sighed.

"That's mean, Oda-sensei." He crossed his arms. "You know you can't get rid of me this easily, besides I'm your favourite character."

Oda smiled at this. "I love all my characters."

"You cried."

"Excuse me?"

"You cried... When I died. My last scene, it was class. Admit it."

"We all cried, Ace. Although it weakens my heart at the thought of Portgas gone for good, I somewhat feel relieved to have you standing right next to me."

Oda looked towards him and put his hand on the stars shoulder.

"Thanks, Ace."

Ace seemed touched by this, allowing a blush caused by the mother of all compliments said by the king himself to drown his signature freckles.

"Thanks for the ratings, I mean." Oda grinned and walked off, snapping Ace out of his day dream and spinning around, "Why YOU!?" He couldn't bad mouth him. Not Oda.

The star turned back to the set which was already half transformed into half ship, half ruins. It amazed him how far this show has gotten. It was "just yesterday" he got a call from Oda himself, claiming he'd be an amazing brother to the main character Monkey D. Luffy. Reluctantly he accepted and landed up in this exact location a few years back.

* * *

The set was shit. Completely shit. Everything was low budget; stunt men were drunk and there was an overly priced vending machine in the place of the non-existent snack table.

This place sucked and although Ace was a free-lance actor, he couldn't help but think this place was so unprofessional. His impression changed as soon as he saw a little boy, a couple of years younger than him, step onto the set. Curious, Ace decided to watch. Not even ten minutes into the scene and  
he was entranced. This amateur kid was amazing. Making a low budget scene seem as if it was so realistic.

Looking down at himself, Ace realised he was literally on the edge of his seat. Right after the scene ended, a small group of strangers surrounded him, gob smacked at his performance. A green haired hoodlum that looked as if he only accepted the job for a place to sleep and a ginger haired girl who seemed lost, more interested in her surroundings.

A nervous Luffy looked around and spotted the stranger in the corner, for some reason, he couldn't help but smile at him. A smile crept across Ace's face. _"This... Is going to be interesting."_

* * *

"AAA-CEE!" An ear piercing shout came from the snack table, before the star could turn around, let alone react in any way; he was embraced in a bear hug so tight he swore he heard a rib crack.

"Oi, Luffy! You're over doing it!" He managed to spit out.

"Sooo-rry!" Luffy let go, allowing Ace to catch a few breathes and turn to face the freak.

"I'm just happy to see you!" Luffy beamed at him and Ace had to admit, it was pretty, fucking cute.

He smiled back and patted his head. Ace called himself lucky to act as his brother and even luckier that Luffy treated him like one. He looked up and caught a glimpse at the crowd around the set, he chuckled. Every pair of eyes seemed to have a glint of jealousy.

"I might be dead but I'm your brother none-the-less." Ace admitted making Luffy smile even wider.

"Ace!" Was all he could blurt out. Ace sighed and pushed him away before it started to get weird.

He'd seen countless fan mail and art of him and Luffy doing un-brotherly things that freaked him out, leaving him with a bleeding nose. "How twisted are these people!?" He'd shout. One second closer to Luffy and the people around him would start to assume things.

"Luuuffy!" A female voice commanded. The straw hat boy turned to smile at the familiar ginger girl standing with some paperwork that seemed to be the script. "Let's run through some lines, kay?" She smiled, tilting her head. Luffy nodded and ran off to her, leaving a lost Ace.

"Ready?" A voice from behind asked.

Ace smiled, "Are YOU ready?"

Marco smirked, walking in front of the star, "They don't call me the Phoenix for nothing."He turned his head and gave a thumbs up.

Ace replied by holding his bulging bicep, "Nor do they call me the Fire Fist for nothing either."

The two cast mates walked off, gym bags in Marco's hands.

"Let's rip shit uuup!" Ace shouted, leaving the set, having everyone turn around and smile to themselves.

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**Soooorry for this short chapter.. next one would be seemingly longer! Criticism much appreciated! **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I don't know if you noticed but there seemed to be a few messed up lines in the last chapter? Anyway, I fixed it… so… yeah. Oh and I promised this chapter would be longer but no. I lied. It's not. Buuuut I have chapter three right next to me haha  
**

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"Any hints about the next episode?"

A plume of smoke engulfed the exhaled last word of the interviewer sitting directly across one of the main cast mates.

"Sorry," the cigarette was tapped and snow flaked bits of ash fell, "No spoilers."

The now turned chef into actor smirked as the man sighed and moved on to the next question.

Completely ignoring him and zoning out, Sanji distantly looked at the crowd of fans, fawning over the make-shift line of reporters and paparazzi.

_Persistent aren't they._ He inhaled the cigarette once again and puffed the excess smoke through his lips.

_I don't know what they're trying to pull. What you see on camera is what you get._

It was true. One Piece depicted each character as how they were. It was more like an enhanced reality show with awesome effects and a truely amazing story line. Luffy was still and idiot. Zoro was still an idiot. And Sanji was still a suave lady's man.

He sighed as he scanned the female faces in the crowd, each beautiful and may I say, willing to give their body to him.

Oda strictly forbid any romance or bantering on and especially off screen. Since the characters were based 90% on the people themselves, starting a relationship with whoever would completely ruin the view of the character. Oda proceeded to use Luffy x Makino as an example. Sanji never thought of his on screen captain the same.

Rumours were thrown about but the cast simply laughed it off as they came across the endless fan fics and art. Sanji didn't mind. The female x male ones of course. He didn't like talking about, let alone thinking about the perverted Zoro ones.

One Piece was the best thing that could ever happen to him, after nearly winning the hit reality show, "Action Kitchen."

Basically, Action Kitchen was a bunch of fighting cooks, battling each other for the top spot of being executive chef of super star head chef, Zeff. Sanji was the favourite but sadly lost the final after getting distracted by an overly excited woman in the crowd taking her bra off. His life went downhill from there but swiftly picked up when he got a phone call from non-other than Oda and immediately accepted the role after seeing the first few aired episodes.

Without hesitation, Sanji got up from his seat and turned to the reporter. "Sorry sir but it seems my time is up."

A look of disappointment clouded over the reporter's eyes and Sanji noted. Quickly spotting a certain someone evading the crowd and using Sanji as an advantage, Sanji lifted his forearm towards the unlucky swordsman.

"Well it seems the first mate has made an appearance." Sanji couldn't help but show his conniving smirk.

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**Haha, Chapter 3 is more of an add-on. Criticism appreciated!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Wasn't that fast? Haha, so heads up on this chapter guys, I'm kind of a fan of the Zoro x Robin pairing so there is hinted pairing in this chapter. I have some future work of the two but unless you guys don't like it, let me know? Because if by any chance you do like it, I have the chapter ready to go! And it's some kinky stuff haha. Thanks**

* * *

"I'm telling you! You shoulda seen Kidd's face when he found out!"

Zoro's hard worked concentration snapped as a loud figure burst through the gym doors, followed by a rather bored companion.

"Sounds hilarious." Replied the now familiar, blonde haired figure.

"Hilarious is an understatement." Defended the annoyed source of the commotion.

"OI! Ace! Simmer down would ya!?" Shouted Zoro as he threw down the gigantic bar bell. He massaged his biceps, calming down the bulging veins that appeared to make pathways around his muscles.

"So sorry, Mister Swordsman!" Replied Ace as he sat down on the hard to miss blue ball, rolling it beneath him before bouncing up and down.

Ace noticed the size of Zoro's arm and allowed a rather _'holy shiiit'_ expression seep onto his face.

Zoro darted his eyes just in time to notice and answered by question, "The hell are you doing here anyway? Ain't this gym for actors only?"

Ace laughed, "But I am an actor! C'mon! I know you missed me," Ace stood up and went to ruffle Zoros dripping hair only to be smacked away, "Besides," He now ran his fingers seductively over his abs, following the deep ridges between each muscle, "I gotta keep in shape!"

Before Zoro could even react in the slightest bit, Marco tapped Ace's shoulder and motioned in the direction of yet another familiar cast mate. Ace couldn't help but laugh as he ran over.

"Smokey! Long-time no see you bastard!" The poor victim had his shoulders embraced with a tattooed arm and a smiling face.

Zoro didn't have time to give a shit and got ready to lift before getting interrupted once again.

"Sorry for the rudeness but there was a note stuck onto your locker." Marco handed the swordsman a note with his name artistically signed on it. "A small crowd of fans were trying to get into the changing rooms as soon as they saw Ace arrive. Take it as a favour."

"Thanks? I guess." Zoro replied, still looking at the note.

Marco walked off to try and save the harassed Smoker who was now trying to headlock Ace and kick the living shit outta him.

"What the hell? I can't be reading while I'm working out!" Zoro muttered to himself, rubbing his head as he opened the note. A few simple words were written on it.

_Cafe at 4pm._

_Don't be late._

_R._

Zoro smiled and looked at the convenient wall clock.

3:50.

_Of course I won't be late._

Getting himself up, he headed towards the changing room and was noticed by the now head locked Ace.

"Oi, Zoro! Leaving so soon! Help me ou-" Ace was kicked in the torso and sent flying a few metres back.

"Who talks when they're in a fight!?" Smoker growled as he spat out his cigar.

"Bastard! That huuurts!" Ace replied, now getting into the foetal position and started rubbing his abs. "Marco! Go get a lucky sucker to massage 'em for me!" Ace pleaded.

Marco sighed. "Shut up dumbass."

Zoro snuck through the changing room doors and noticed there was not a single soul in there. "Mmm? No one's around... Maybe that bastard... I doubt."

Zoro slipped his shirt on and creaked the door open and spotted the said crowd formed around the parking lot. "Hah, seems some poor soul got spotted." Sneaking out through the doors, the retired off-screen swordsman wandered around the crowd and laughing to himself manically as he noticed it was none other than Sanji that was being bombarded.

Almost at the edge of his escape, a shriek of pleasure erupted as the crowd turned around to chase the unsuspecting Zoro.

"Eh?... EHH!? You shitty cook!" Was all Zoro could shout back as he made his escape from the claws of the madly in love fan girls.

"I'm gonna kill him!"

* * *

"Miss, can I get you anything?" Asked a man, dressed in a full tuxedo.

"No, thank you." Smiled a raven haired woman.

"I'm waiting for someone." The waiter nodded and walked off.

The female allowed her blue eyes to stare at the clock on the brick wall.

_4:02._

_He's late._


End file.
